Parents and the School Stage

Relational and Social Constructionist Consortium of Ecuador (IRYSE)

Maritza Crespo Balderrama, M.A. and Diego Tapia Figueroa, Ph.D.

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The importance of supporting children in the transitions of the school stage allows for a full and satisfactory student life.

The Ecuadorian educational system has three stages: early education, basic education, and high school. Children begin their academic careers at 37 months (3 years of age) and, throughout their academic school life, they will go through different moments and transitions.

In this month’s article, we will go through these moments of transition to offer some useful ideas for mothers and fathers, so that their presence and support contribute to making school and college an enriching period, beyond the challenges it entails.

From Home to Early Education: The Encounter with the Outside World

One of the most important moments, and the one that parents remember with the greatest emotion, is the first day of school for their sons and daughters. The choice of the educational center, the visits, and the criteria for deciding which is the best option give way to expectations about achieving a good adaptation, ensuring that the children are happy and protected in this new space, outside family care.

Without a doubt, it is not only an important process for the parents but also for the children, who will face the challenge of making friends, meeting other adults, and recognizing new contexts. This begins the process of socialization with others, who are not close to them.

This process is not always easy. The greater or lesser adaptation of the children will depend, to a large extent, on the predisposition, security, and attitude of the parents in the face of this challenge, perhaps the first of their lives.

Parents who look with joy at this progress, who have expectations, and who, beyond logical fears, want their sons and daughters to live the experience of their educational life with fullness and freedom, will be the best models to face those first days and weeks within the educational system.

Similarly, the non-invasive but attentive presence of parents in the development of their children, to support the work of teachers, is an element that can contribute to making the educational experience valued and productive.

From School to College: Changes Everywhere

Moving from school to college is another step that can mark people’s lives. Beyond the fact that, according to the ministerial nomenclature, students continue in the so-called “basic education,” there is certainly a difference, for children and parents, when leaving seventh grade and entering the eighth year of basic education.

This academic moment coincides, in most cases, with the transition to adolescence. In other articles, we have talked about what it means for children to experience the changes that accompany this stage, not only physically but, above all, in terms of interests, the way of seeing the world, the recognition of social life, and the new way of relating to parents and family.

If we add to all this the change in the academic context (changing to another school, for example), meeting new teachers, and students, and adapting to new rules of treatment and academics, it is evident that it is an important challenge.

In this process, parents can make a difference in how to face and overcome this transition. Here are some ideas that may be useful:

Make your expectations clear: Helping them recognize that the challenges will be gradual and can be overcome is a good idea. The responsibility of the educational center is to give students the tools so that they can learn and adapt to the context. The responsibility of the parents is to accompany this process. Academic life is what children build on a day-to-day basis, not what parents would have wanted to live or would like it to be.

Open channels of communication: Not only maintain dialogue with children, based on having built contexts of trust and respect with them, but it is also a good idea to open the space with tutors and teachers so that parents can support their children promptly, and teachers have the family context to monitor and accompany them academically.

Support the construction of study routines: This should be done from primary school. However, it is important to recognize that moving on to secondary school will mean different times and spaces to devote to studies, which can modify family organization. Parents must be open to changes (as well as their sons and daughters) and facilitate the reformulation of routines.

Constant appreciation and recognition: Moving from primary to secondary school is a step forward that must be recognized and valued by parents. Making it explicit with words of encouragement and recognition makes students feel proud and able to commit to their learning process. Words of affection, joy, and pride should never be skimped on.

Entering High School: The End of This Stage is Approaching

If entering secondary school is an important change in the life of a student, moving from primary education to high school is even more so. At this stage, young people’s expectations are tinged with a new reality: the end of the school stage and the uncertainty of what will happen next, when school ends.

For parents, it is also an important process because, in many ways, their expectations also begin to focus on their children’s future and the opportunities that school can open for university studies (which imply economic independence and employment). It is about finding new ways to contribute so that this transition is manageable for children and recognizing that they are increasingly losing their role in their lives. Now, they are the ones who are building their path to independence.

Some ideas to contribute during this period may be:

Opening a dialogue about the fears, expectations, and ideas that your child has about entering high school. What does he or she expect from this stage? What would he or she like to happen? What do they need from their parents?

Know the options and offers of the school for high school students, in terms of extracurricular classes, and learning opportunities in other contexts. In this way, you can also help your children to choose and approach them.

Accompany your children, respectfully, in this new stage. This means giving them the space to take on the challenges of high school with responsibility and autonomy, without abandoning them, but without invading their space.

Attend the school activities that the school provides. The fact that children enter high school does not mean that parents ignore the school; their presence in academic and social activities is important so that both the educational institution and the children themselves are aware that there is a family that supports and accompanies this stage.

Transmit confidence and security. Allow autonomy in terms of study for your children. It is no longer the time to be actively engaged in schoolwork. However, they need to know that they can count on their parents to help them solve problems.

Like any transition, it involves rites of passage that must be recognized, valued, and respected, as well as accompanying them to manage and accept the losses that the transformations and transitions generate, while enhancing and enjoying the possibilities that are opened and built. The new learning that arises from transitions and the creativity to walk new paths.

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https://www.maxionline.ec/los-padres-y-la-etapa-escolar/

English translation by Bruno Tapia Naranjo.