WHAT IS SOCIAL/RELATIONAL CONSTRUCTIONIST THERAPY? 3/3

diciembre 8, 2023

Relational and Social Constructionist Consortium of Ecuador (IRYSE)

Diego Tapia Figueroa, Ph.D. and Maritza Crespo Balderrama, M.A.

“Enjoy every moment of the journey.”

(Ovid)

“There are much, much better things ahead than those we left behind.”

(William Shakespeare)

“All pains can be endured if we put them in a narrative or tell a story about them.”

(Isak Dinesen)

“Supreme wisdom is to have dreams big enough not to lose sight of them while pursuing them.”

(William Faulkner)

The questions of reflective pragmatics, in this transformative dialogue called therapy, are:

Do they contribute?

Do they matter?

Are they useful?

What is different, transformative, and meaningful that we say and do together?

How can we care for our relationships, so that we can co-create life, meaningful life?

How can we use these ideas -not only to free ourselves- to be useful for society?

What happened, how did the relationships that generated transformations occur?

What kind of future can I contribute to with relational intelligence?

Relational ethics

Relational ethics can be seen as this human sensitivity in relationships (being present with the other) to understand people in a committed dialogue, which makes us co-responsible for taking care of them. It is in this dialogue that the interest lies in the construction of new generative ways of connection between those who converse differently, which has to do with relational ethics: what do we build together that means well-being? Since this question explains how ethics is understood from social constructionist/relational/generative/collaborative positions.

It is committing to caring for relationships, recognizing that there is no single voice, and legitimizing other ways of speaking. It is a position that recognizes that what is considered real and good is a product of human relationships, of the coordination of languages to expand our dialogues; to enrich the ways of practicing therapy so that they occupy the proper place that generates transformation, because we work, intelligently, from a relational perspective.

The relational connection is probably one of the most fruitful contributions and achievements of this conversational space created with the consultants. It is achieved by integrating relational responsibility into their lifestyle, opening new possibilities that allow them to facilitate the coordination of actions and the development of a different sensitivity in the processes of relating with others, with other relational contexts, seeking co-responsibility and generating new ways of interrelating in those contexts. In dialogue, the interest lies in the formation of generative forms of connection between the participants, a journey in which they share their local knowledge, the value of their own culture, and the reflections that give meaning to conversations that create constructive differences.

How can we build -jointly from relational ethics- new stories, feeling like protagonists and authors of generative processes, capable of creating with joy and imagination, other possibilities of transformative therapeutic processes and critical, ethical, and political participation, is the question that also confronts and guides us.

Dialogue is a question about what is new; it means that it is deeply creative and mobilizes the resources of the consultants, promoting (from curiosity) a sense of innovation, and productive exploration, to understand differences.

Because the question remains: what are we creating together, to generate the possibilities of a present with ethical and political relational conditions, which mean equity, justice, responsibility, and dignity? How do we connect through dialogue, to create possibilities for different futures, respectful of human rights and the social and relational responsibilities of its participants?

Social constructionism emphasizes conversations, since, through language and meaning, each human being enters into a relationship with others, thus constructing their own identity or internal voice. Every idea and every concept is born from social exchange mediated by language.

Tom Andersen says: “Words are like hands with which we touch people’s faces. And, at the same time, you can see people being touched by their own words.” The power of uniting reflective dialogue with the ability to be moved: this is what is qualitatively different. Different words from our experience point to the joint construction of different futures. There is a beautiful idea from Harlene Anderson: “Home is acceptance.” It is the human home that we all need. Inviting us to generate different questions: How to build relational-dialogical spaces of intimacy, that have dignity, that are liberating, that creatively generate joy and peace?

Because the value is in the well-being of the process, constantly reflecting critically on new ways of acting and being; where doing differently serves to build the future.

Dialogue/connect/transform

We are aware that transformations necessarily begin with the professionals themselves. When talking, the possibility of generating transformations constantly opens up. To communicate, to relate, to connect, understanding is essential, which is what opens the possibility of experiencing the construction of the fullness of the relationship.

Being aware of where we look from, from what place we look, how we look, how we are used to looking at others; how, in what ways our gaze constructs the other in the relationship.

Interrogate ourselves about the relational contexts that we inhabit, challenge the cruelty and injustice that oppress and exclude; and generate transformative conversational processes that welcome goodness, joy, and freedom.

Legitimize the narrative, the ability to articulate one’s discourse, and the right to tell one’s story firsthand.

Being grateful for the dialogues that allow us to connect, without fear or guilt, with our vulnerability, being able to open ourselves to the connection with the vulnerability of others.

We are responsible for weaving spaces of dignity; dignity is also mental health. Stories are like rhizomes. They are expanding and becoming more complex.

Some young therapists and psychologists ask us, in a space of supervision, co-vision, and inter-vision, which we coordinate:

“In summary, in a few minutes, with a few words, briefly: how is this type of relational, social-constructionist, generative therapy done?”

Our responses (we reproduce what we have proposed here: https://iryse.org/secuencia-posible-ultra-resumida-para-un-process-de-terapia/):

The university students with whom we are working at this stage, as well as different colleagues in clinical supervision spaces, often ask us for guidelines for their professional practice. It is an invitation to work relationally, and socially with this compass: “language constructs reality.” Rather than ascribing to theories and epistemologies as dogmas of faith, of inducing to repeat the way of doing things of those who “know”, of applying techniques, protocols, or general-universal “truths” and of social control, it is about contributing so that each professional finds his or her own style of being a therapist, of being with others in a process of permanent metamorphosis and transformation.

0. Adequate logistics: no desk involved; chairs in a circle. Before starting, sign the “Well-Informed Contract”, which details that confidentiality is guaranteed; which is a space for true words, not for empty words; the time and cost of the session; that our role is not to judge or criticize, but to understand; etc.

1. Welcome the consultants: “Welcome.”

2. Each therapy is a unique process; every time is like the first time; we assume a stance of curiosity, respect, capacity for wonder, and desire to learn with the consultants. You have to focus on the positive and make it grow.

3. Start by asking with curiosity and genuine human interest -options-: What is the most important thing you would like to tell about your story so that I can understand what person you are? What should happen so that you leave with what you expected?; What are your best hopes for the conversation we are going to start? What worries you about bringing up this story: what is he already achieving, what is working for him now?

4. Listen deeply, without interrupting. Listen focusing on solutions. Listen (to understand) the resonance and use it in favor of the consultant’s process; make public -judiciously- our thoughts, in the appropriate context, with reflective language.

5. Develop fine sensitivity. Promote a climate of respect, responsibility, openness, flexibility, freedom and trust.

5. Not assuming the role of the expert; question hierarchies; Avoid welfare, and savior attitudes, do not give advice or try to teach how to live.

7. Ask: What internal dialogues did you have while listening to me (or while listening to your partner)?

8. At the end of the therapy session: What do you take away from this session? What was useful to you?

This transformative dialogue called psychotherapy is based on being curious and open, rather than looking at the deficit, it is about seeking and trusting the resources and strengths of the clients. The most important thing is the co-creation of a dialogic relationship, a space of security and trust to:

Generate relational bonds -connection- and weave relationships in favor of the needs of transformation of the consultant’s history.

B. That the consultant feels respected, understood, accepted, recognized, legitimized.

C. Work from a paradigm of complexity, accepting uncertainty and difference.

D. With a perspective that contextualizes local relationships and cultures.

The main resources that we mobilize as therapists are:

1. The being of the therapist, which means choosing a place, a posture of gentleness: a. Let him be listened to gently; b. Let him ask himself gently; c. Let it be spoken gently; d. Let it be answered gently; and. Let it be treated gently.

2. With a language that values, invites, and generates the co-creation of the “with”, and the “between”, of this reflexive dialogic process. It has more to do with attitude than techniques. More than what to do, the question is how to be with the other. We dialogue incorporating the polyphony of the multiple voices present in the conversation, creating possibilities.

3. We talk, we dialogue through questions: a. Reflective, meaningful, different questions that contribute and are useful; b. We ask to connect and to understand; c. The “correct” question or the “best” question is the one that connects with the last thing the consultant just said; d. Accompany people to think and reflect differently, with meaningful questions.

4. You have to trust the dialogic process and commit to the joint construction of new meanings. Transformations consist of and result from the dialogic creation of a new narrative. Transformation occurs as the dialogue flows.

5. We seek, with creativity and good humor, to generate unprecedented possibilities and possible futures. The process seeks to expand relationships and meanings, it is oriented towards the future, towards the creation of what does not yet exist, of new possibilities.

6. Being a therapist, in a process that is constantly evolving, maintaining that open posture to question and reflect on one’s prejudices, implies being in constant transformation as a professional and as a person. Knowing how to refer, in situations where we see that we will be useful to the consultants or when, due to unresolved issues of our own, we get hooked on the consultants, in a way that stagnates the relationship.

7. A relational ethic, under construction, which means working from a human rights perspective (especially in favor of the cause of children): a. Be radically present, fully and with integrity, without anxiety; b. Do annual personal therapy processes (at least 6 weekly sessions in a row); c. Search and participate in supervision or clinical multi-vision spaces; d. Continuous research, updating, training, and professionalization; e. Generate and participate in “caring for the caregiver” spaces, to prevent burnout; F. Generate support networks (family, friends, social, professional, institutional); g. Have your own, satisfying life, beyond work. Enjoy and let yourself enjoy the good things in life; h. Connect and enjoy the best of art, literature, cinema, music; pleasure.

As a writer said: create the possibility of embodying in social life, to give it meaning and new meanings; use this triangle: love, poetry, rebellion.

About us

From Quito, Ecuador, we open this space for transformative relational dialogues, from relational-social constructionism, trusting that it will be a useful contribution in our contexts to generate new questions, conversations, and creative, reflective, significant, different possibilities.

Seeking that our narratives and actions generate the joint creation of new meanings in a committed coordination for meaningful socially responsible practices.

From a language that focuses on resources and is capable of building contextualized human worlds, in a process of building social worlds that mean transformative processes, from the sensitive and critical understanding of how dialogue builds people and empowers and expands the possibilities.

This being with others, generating connections, with relational ethics, radical presence, and consistently argued questions. Nurturing innovation, acceptance of differences, and openness to diversity with permanent curiosity, imagination, creativity, and respect.

Trusting in dialogue processes, trusting in relationships, in the joint construction of meanings-words-actions-poetic connections; of other senses of being with others, of caring for relationships, consistently contributing to the future of dialogues of what could be.

Working with love, intelligence, and rebellion against the cruel and unjust status quo; free of prejudices, free of the common sense that naturalizes exploitation, for example; enriching ourselves with the best of humanity, which is expressed in art, literature, cinema, music; dialoguing from reflective pragmatics, from complexity, to embrace uncertainty.

Epilogue

We allow ourselves to reproduce some comments -public on another platform, where we offer our professional services-, maintaining here the anonymity of some of the consultants, for whose words, we only have appreciation, gratitude, and joy for what we have been able to contribute that is different, new, generative and innovative in the responsible construction of new meanings and relational possibilities and of authentic and dignified transformations, with relational ethics.

“My experience with Maritza has been truly transformative and is a testament to her innate ability to guide and motivate those seeking to improve their lives. From the beginning, Maritza and Diego became essential pillars in my sessions, giving me a voice of strength and motivation. The atmosphere created by Maritza in our sessions was a refuge of tranquility and peace, where the conversations felt masterfully guided. Although I was in the process of fearlessly facing my deepest feelings, I always felt in control of my environment, thanks to Maritza’s expert guidance. Maritza not only sympathized with my situation but also helped me develop a sense of freedom and empowerment. Her direct and unfiltered communication, combined with great gentleness, guided me in deep reflection and taught me to understand how to approach my thoughts. Through her wise advice, I managed to recover fundamental aspects of myself and my life that I thought were lost. Maritza creates an enriching environment where knowledge of solutions and identification of problems become tools that the patient carries with them. In a particularly difficult stage of my life, Maritza was instrumental in overcoming what I considered insurmountable. Without exaggeration, I can say that her intervention had an impact that goes beyond the complementary; It really saved my life. This testimony is not only a “thank you” but a sincere recognition of Maritza’s professionalism. I have appreciation, respect, and deep affection for everything she has done for me. My gratitude to her is infinite.”

• “I would like to express my deep gratitude to Diego and Maritza, my psychologists, for the invaluable support they gave me during two crucial moments in my life. My first meeting with Diego during my adolescence was fundamental. We established a bond of respect and trust, and Diego created a safe space where I could address difficult topics. Despite my initial reluctance, he skillfully guided me to talk about uncomfortable things, face fears, and explore my feelings and mistakes. These conversations contributed significantly to the development of my emotional critical thinking, tools that I continue to use to evaluate and address my problems. In my twenties, I found myself again seeking help, this time with deeper problems. Diego and Maritza were my psychologists during these sessions, and their intervention was crucial to recovering aspects of my life that improved my quality of life when I felt on the verge of giving up. I came to those sessions hopeless and completely determined to give up, but with their help, we evaluated and processed my fears, anxieties, and depression, identifying the roots of each problem by seeking practical solutions. What I appreciate most about Diego and Maritza is their empathy, honesty, and motivation. They never tried to sugarcoat any topic, they were direct but delicate in their approach. I felt safe and supported at all times. Their objective perspective allowed me to see things clearly and confront my realities. I owe them a lot, not only in terms of respect but also love for everything they did for me. This comment is not intended to praise, but rather evidence their excellent service and professional commitment.”

• “The work that Maritza and Diego do is excellent, first because they created an environment of great peace and tranquility to be able to express myself. The dynamics of the therapy occurred quite fluidly, and I perceived honesty on the part of both, always within the limits of respect. They made me feel really listened to and their suggestions contributed greatly to the process I was going through. The fact that we have worked in therapy with more people (my daughter and my partner) is also something that I value a lot and I feel that it helped me in my process.”

• “Both Maritza and Diego are very high-level professionals. I recommend them 100% for all their professionalism and human quality. They are two professionals who have helped and guided us in our relationship as a couple and family. I have to admit that thanks to them my life has taken a positive turn…!“

• “I have participated in the co-therapy process with Maritza and Diego Tapia, it has been an enriching experience that has allowed me to explore new alternatives. Through dialogue I have been able to find new paths, answers, and also new questions within my process of personal growth, in an environment of respect and reflection that gives me new theoretical and human elements.”

• “I met Maritza and Diego through the recommendation of a colleague, just when I was going through a marital crisis. I had individual therapy and then couples therapy, and the work experience was quite positive. They are great professionals who always gave us a lot of confidence and openness to express ourselves as we were, there was always respect for our emotions and we were never judged. Many times they made us hit rock bottom and know what we wanted. Thanks to their advice we overcame our crisis, which is why we feel quite grateful to them.”

• “Excellent professionals, with their guidance, I have learned to see things in a less chaotic way, which has helped me in my personal and professional growth.”

• “A very special thank you and gratitude to this therapist, as he has been my strength in the hard times I went through. I consider him a professional and an exceptional human being who has accompanied me in my therapeutic process with respect, trust, and empathy. I can assure you that he will be of great help to many people who require his support since he has allowed me to find a new life alternative that has built me up in all areas. My infinite respect and admiration appreciated therapist.”

• “Dr. Tapia and Dr. Crespo are our therapists in individual, couple, and family processes; Their attention has been above all, very human, sensitive, respectful, and very professional with a technique or methodology appropriate to each need; I have felt welcomed and very understood, oriented and guided to certain paths that will lead me to fulfillment.”

• “I had a prolonged period of co-therapy with Dr. Tapia and Maritza, which allows me to express that it has been the best time spent in my life. In each session, they helped me carry out a deep analysis of many things that were not evident to me and that were creating a lot of havoc at that time. The work done by Diego and Maritza was so good that I always recommend them so that they can continue helping more people overcome situations that we often see as impossible to overcome. They are very professional in their therapeutic work.”

• “Excellent professionals Diego and Maritza helped me to be able to listen and understand situations not only from my point of view. To find new paths that are much clearer and more precise. I greatly appreciate your contribution to changing thoughts. Keep going, you make a very strong team!”

• “I begin with total gratitude for the therapies of the doctors, Diego Tapia and Dr. Maritza Crespo, who helped me understand my emotional situation and reformulate my life and my opportunities, their human quality in understanding my situation and helping me makes me very happy and grateful for life and especially for them, with their professionalism applied in therapies they helped and guided me, I wish the best for them in their careers and their lives. May they continue to help people always.”

• “My husband and I found with Diego and Maritza a space full of respect and above all we found trust, they accepted our differences, and just as we are, in each therapy they give us new tools to have better communication as a couple and individually, the method they use, having them together in each session (Diego and Maritza) was new for us, generally it is a single option/opinion or help, but they have shown us with results that having two points of view is a good decision, I have a deep appreciation for Maritza who has had the right words for me and my needs at the same time respecting the couple and our goal on this journey which is to continue being a couple without losing our individuality and that shows the respect they have for their clients and their profession.”

Suggested bibliography:

Andersen, T. (2013). A sentence in five lines. On the production of meanings from the perspective of relationship, prejudice, and bewitchment. In Deissler, K. & McNamee, S. (Ed) Filo and Sofía in dialogue. (pp. 76-83) Ohio, USA: Ed. Taos Institute Publication.

Anderson, H. (1999). Conversation, language, and possibilities. A postmodern approach to therapy. Buenos Aires, Argentina Amorrortu Editorial.

Fried Schnitman, D. (Ed.) (2017), Dialogues for transformation: development of projects and generative research aimed at building futures in Ibero-America – Volume 3. Ohio, USA: Ed. A Taos Institute Publication. WorldShare Books.

Fried Schnitman, D. (ed.) (2000), Conflict Resolution. New Designs, New Contexts. Buenos Aires, Argentina, Granica Editorial.

Gergen, K. (2016). The relational Being. Beyond Self and Community. Bilbao, Spain: Editorial Desclée de Brouwer, SA

Gergen, K. (2014). From Mirroring to World-Making: Research as Future Forming, Retrieved from: https://taoslearning.ning.com/groups2/global-relational-research-network/virtual-symposium-2018.

Mc Namee, S (2016). Resources for Facilitating Differing Worldviews, Taos Institute December 2016. Retrieved from: http://www.taosinstitute.net/Websites/taos/files/Content/5868649/Resources_for_Facilitating_Multiple_Worldviews_(McNamee).pdf

IRYSE (2018) Blog of the Relational and Socioconstructionist Institute of Ecuador (IRYSE): https://iryse.org/

https://psicologiaymente.com/psicologos/2072693/diego-tapia-figueroa-ph-d

https://psicologiaymente.com/psicologos/2072682/maritza-crespo-balderrama

English translation by Bruno Tapia Naranjo