Relational and Social Constructionist Consortium of Ecuador (IRYSE)
Maritza Crespo Balderrama, MA and Diego Tapia Figueroa, Ph.D.
Encouraging family gatherings allows us to share moments of recreation, joy, and intimacy. Bonds are strengthened as well as emotional support networks.
People come to therapeutic consultations with countless issues that they consider necessary to work on, understand, or overcome. Many of them express a feeling of loneliness, anxiety, and isolation, others state that they do not find meaning in the ties and contact with those who are part of their environment.
Many want to understand, for example, what is the importance of family ties, of counting on others, of sharing with the people who love us, and how to learn to relate to their family without this being a cause of anxiety, dispute, or stress.
Facing complex life situations together requires generating conversational spaces that foster trust and security. Being able to authentically transmit to each member of the extended family the certainty that they are important, that their affairs matter, and that the world is also a better place thanks to the existence of each member.
The family: the bonds that make us up
You can talk about family from various perspectives. Many disciplines and sciences approach it to understand its dynamics, internal processes, and their role as a fundamental element of human society. Ideas of family have changed over time and are impregnated with the beliefs and values of cultures. However, it is evident that there is no society in which the family does not occupy a leading place.
From the perspective of shaping people’s identity, family has a preponderant and basic role. It is the first context in which the human being develops, the primordial bond between a mother and her child, the space for recognition, gaze, and love that builds the individual.
However, due to the psycho-emotional development of the human being and the dynamics of daily life, family ties often weaken. Other priorities take the place of the family and, in many cases, ties can be lost.
By resuming family relationships, it is evident that sharing quality time and warm moments is a task that makes sense if the following ideas are taken into account:
Benefits of sharing with family
Perhaps the most well-known benefit, which is important, is the one that has to do with the fact that the family is a fundamental space for learning. It is not about obtaining information, but, above all, about learning respect, solidarity, acceptance, and freedom. Fundamental aspects to live life with dignity, integrally, and fully.
Recognizing that the other exists, valuing them, respecting differences, and accepting members as they are, should be the elements that are not missing in family relationships. They are processes that are learned from experience, from sharing a family atmosphere characterized by dialogue and good treatment.
The family is also the place to understand and introject what is important for each person’s life, the values, and principles that will become the best tools for making decisions, prioritizing situations, and individual projection.
Family relationships sustained by respect and acceptance constitute the space to become people who respect, accept, value, recognize, and are supportive and free.
Another benefit of promoting family gatherings is that when moments of recreation, joy, and complicity are shared, bonds are strengthened, as well as emotional support networks. Spending time together helps you get to know each other better and this fosters trust and solidarity.
In addition, it helps to early detect individual and family problems and, above all, to generate conflict resolution processes, which are part of life itself and commonly occur in relationships and within each person.
Solid family relationships sustained in dialogue and respect support decision-making and coping with situations in other personal contexts (educational, work, personal projects). They can be a good guide when making important and sustainable transformations.
Another beneficial factor of family meetings and ties is that they help the emergence of synergies (joint action and coordination) to achieve the objectives that the members set for themselves. In this sense, having common projects (travel, vacations, ventures, or hobbies) are good and different ways to channel the energies of all members towards a shared goal with beneficial results for all.
Finally, the family union, relationships, and family gatherings are the space for learning and putting the capacity for resilience into practice. It is easier to overcome adversity if you have a consistent and coherent family network that supports and accompanies its members.
Spaces to share with family
Promoting spaces for family gatherings does not have to involve large movements or efforts, investment of money, or excessive logistics. Perhaps, the resource that is essential to obtain these spaces is time. Allocating moments to share, opening a place in your agenda, and being constant is a requirement. It is not about long hours, however, there must be specific spaces in which to share, and let yourself enjoy, freely.
Some of the daily activities that can become a space for unity, dialogue, fun, and positive relationships can be:
• Prepare food. A space rich in possibilities for family relationships is the kitchen, a place that mobilizes our ancestral memory of the community around fire and food. Preparing food and eating as a family can go from being a routine “work” space to becoming a recreational space for play, joy, and fun. Sitting around the table, chatting, and sharing enhances the knowledge of family members and strengthens family unity.
• Leasure activities and recreation. Planning weekly or biweekly outings to exercise or take a walk is also a good way to share time with the family. Sport provides people with the physical activity necessary for a healthy life. However, traveling, going to the movies, or simply taking a walk provides more than just body movement with topics of conversation, and the promotion of curiosity and dialogue.
The family union, consequently, is something that must be strengthened daily and is the space for the enhancement of the resources and emotional strengths of its members, the implementation of the values, principles, and commitment necessary for daily life, and the place of learning solidarity, respect, acceptance, resilience, and hope.
(***) Authorized reproduction of the publication, from the Magazine Maxi Online
https://www.maxionline.ec/momentos-para-compartir/
English translation by Bruno Tapia Naranjo.
